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Should I Stay or Should I Go: Surviving A Relationship with a Narcissist

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About the Author

Dr. Ramani Durvasula is a licensed clinical psychologist and Professor of Psychology at California State University, Los Angeles.  Dr. Durvasula completed her doctorate in clinical psychology at UCLA. She was awarded the Emerging Scholar Award by the American Association of University Women in 2003. In 2012, she was the recipient of the Outstanding Professor Award from California State University Los Angeles in recognition of her record of teaching, scholarship, mentorship and university service. In addition, she is a licensed clinical psychologist in private practice in Santa Monica, CA.  Her work and expert opinion has been cited in The New York Times, The Chicago Tribune, Marie Claire, Glamour, Maxim, Cosmopolitan, Men's Health, Shape, the Los Angeles Times, Self, The Guardian, More, Redbook, Allure, and various internet media. Dr. Durvasula is an expert contributor to Sharecare, WebMD, and a member of Dr. Oz’s Advisory Board, as well as the Advisory Board of the Ganley Foundation.  

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Product details

Paperback: 288 pages

Publisher: Post Hill Press; Reprint edition (October 24, 2017)

Language: English

ISBN-10: 168261333X

ISBN-13: 978-1682613337

Product Dimensions:

5.5 x 0.5 x 8.2 inches

Shipping Weight: 9.3 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)

Average Customer Review:

4.7 out of 5 stars

72 customer reviews

Amazon Best Sellers Rank:

#39,068 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

This is the best book I have read on the subject of narcissistic abuse in relationships and how this abuse affects the victim. It has been immensely validating for me as I am learning how I have been in the thrall of a narcissist for over thirty years. It outlines specific behaviors and emotions that are evident in these dysfunctional relationships; things I could have never put into words before I read this book. The author also gives specific advice and strategies for dealing with either staying in the relationship and what that would mean versus leaving the relationship and the hurdles and dangers to be aware of in that scenario. I found this book incredibly helpful. I would highly recommend it to anyone thinking they may be involved in a relationship with a narcissist, or for anyone who needs to understand the dynamic of this type of relationship, such as therapists, counselors, or lawyers.

Very, very helpful. I spent years in individual and couples counseling. Testing showed husband was narcissistic, but the counselor never explained what it would mean for my life. I was very naive. Husband told me the testing was wrong. The counselor never explained anything about it and had me reading books like the Peter Pan Syndrome and the Wendy Dilemma, which were inadequate books for my situation. This book was a bolt of lightning. It was like WOW. I finally get it. The divorce was after 28 years of marriage. I wish I had understood more sooner. I was clueless. When you have tried everything to save your marriage and nothing makes sense, read this. It is sad, but it is better to know the truth. They will not change. The narcissist may charm you into believing that next week will be better, but........

This was my first experience with a narcissist nightmare and God be willing, I will never see her again. Had I read this book 5 years ago, I could have avoided a nightmare from Hell. I never knew what a narcissist was or did to people. This explains it all. Terrific book!

The book is fabulous for a woman in a relationship with a very successful openly narcissistic man. The title implies exactly that. Be aware that many ordinary men and women, just living ordinary lives, are just as narcissistic but display their narcissism in sneaky ways. It can take years of confusion, if ever, before one figures out that so-and-so is a narcissist. They are SO sneaky in their manipulations and selfishness. As masters of seeming innocent, they can jerk people around with manipulations for a lifetime and always seem wonderful -- sometimes the victim but never the bad guy. Look for sneaky manipulativeness, very-very sneaky selfishness, skill at diverting and blaming others, and their FAN CLUBS, which sometime are not big-time but all they can assemble. Every moment of their life is sneakily focused on getting what they want and buildiing up their FAN CLUBS

I love this book. It was highly recommended by a friend of mine and I have found it to be extremely helpful. I don't think it is as much about telling you whether or not to leave a relationship as it is helping you deal with a narcissistic person. Most of us know one or a few, and this book is worth reading because it gives so much insight into people with this personality disorder.

I am so happy I bought this book after seeing her do an interview on YouTube. This answers all the questions I have about the experience I had and currently have with my estranged wife. People who suffer from NPD abuse will get so much from this book. This book affirms you are not crazy (if you have been NPD abused you know what I mean). My wife scored 33 out of 33 on the test. Thank you Dr. Ramani Durvasula for writing this book. I would also, suggest finding a competent therapist experienced in treating people who suffer from NPD abuse. Buy the book. It will no doubt be helpful.

This book is incredibly insightful and well written, and tells you what to do if you want to leave or if you decide to stay in an abusive relationship.

Blatantly truthful, highly informative and well researched. Many passages I was certain I had written myself. Very true to the personality.

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